Monday, June 16, 2008
It's been just over a year since the last post.
Not much has changed, the same group of people, some new ones.
So much has been a constant.
New Zealand was great. I took tons of photos, but have none of them since they were conveniently taken using other people's cameras. I said this to so many people already, but: I really liked our group. Like how Rachel kept emphasising during the trip,
ohana means family... and nobody gets left behind, the group felt so right, bonded, together. Coming back was strange. I miss feeling cold. Miss the group, miss
cam-whoring. :D
It was good that the stay at OPC was 7 days long. Even then, it flew by. I dreamt of NZ/OPC awhile after we came back. And this whole holiday has been filled with strange dreams/dreams that I forget but leave that oh-so-uneasy feeling when I wake up.
I've been thinking of going back to church.
Mom asked me to go with her, 2 weeks ago but I gave her one of many excuses. But I need this. I think I really do. Some grounding. I know it's bad, but some easing of guilt/redemption. I need to be able to close my eyes and not think about my mistakes. I need to not feel like slapping myself or doing some crazy thing to forget a past crazy thing. I need to really act on my resolutions, stick to them for longer than a week. Gosh, so many needs. needyneedyneedy.
Blocks are in a week.
A week of cramming for three days of tests. Phew.
I dread KI the most. Even though I haven't even read
Beloved properly. And home really provides the worst possible study environment. So, Mandy ftw?
for now, seventeen and feeling way too old.Labels: 281
3:09 AM
Fell for a shooting star
Sunday, June 10, 2007
I said I'd blog for you, so here we go.
Fear reigns so we never see beautiful secret lives.
It's sad that it takes things like this to get us to talk.
Two weeks is much too short. There is so much to do. So little time. Arr.
Tonight the stars were insane. I had peranakan food for dinner. I wish my grandma was alive and that the whole extended family was closer. And that there'd be homecooked food more often. Yes.
It didn't take much to forget, after all.
9:33 AM
Fell for a shooting star
Thursday, January 18, 2007
It's hard to believe I've been on the A*star attachment programme for two days (only).
I feel like I'm going to work, what with the mrt rides and passing by the office areas.
Going in at 8.30, 9am. And the lunch breaks at Holland Village. Like today, our lunch break was from 11.30am to 2pm. NYDC. And Mocha Frappucino after that.
What have I learnt from the programme? Scientifically, not much I think.
But it was a good experience all the same. Meeting new people, doing all that pipetting and wearing lab coats and gloves the whole day. I think the initial awkward silences died after our first lunchbreak. And in between experimenting there's a lot of time to slack. It's interesting to note the variety of our conversation topics just two days after meeting each other. Maybe it's the being put together with random people for three days and knowing that you'll never see each other again after that.
You can do anything, say anything (pretty much). And all the assumptions we have of each other. 'spoilt, only child', that really was a first. I would try to phrase this more eloquently and there's more stuff I would like to write about but, right now, my brain isn't working all that well.
Yesterday, we were more on task, listening to the Jin Ngee person explain and following his instructions. Today, I absolutely could not sit still. Maybe it was the triple dose of caffeine as compare to yesterday's two. Still...
I feel crazy. And tired but content. And happy.
Like maybe this is something I would be able to do on a routine basis and not get tired of.
Maybe.
This is very scattered, like my entries usually are.
Third week of school. Time flies.
This IMCB thing should be longer.
There will be much catching up on to be done next Monday when I get back to school.
I guess that concludes my first entry on this blog for the year.
11:58 PM
Fell for a shooting star
Sunday, November 26, 2006
And you wonder why people aren't honest, or as honest as you'd like them to be.
This.
This is bloody hell why.
11:11 PM
Fell for a shooting star
Monday, November 20, 2006
Zest seems like such a nice word to bite into.
Right now, I wish I were back in the cave.
That moment when we all turned off our torchlights and it was pitch black, save for the glow of the glow worms. And it was so quiet, with the cool water trickling under out feet.
It was calming.
I need that calm now.
Some small space that's quiet, dark, with water.
Gattaca, To not save anything for the swim back. I want to do that.
children wound most deeply when they're cruel, their aim is perfect, and the memory of the pain lasts longer.
9:10 PM
Fell for a shooting star
Friday, November 17, 2006
So we're back.
(And it's really strange to not have a whole day of plans and using the keyboard/computer).
Am missing New Zealand.
Our group, the mountains (singing like crazy people while trekking), the temperature there, the taiti and bridge games, bunking... Felt too short.
Was crossing my fingers that we'd get bumped off the plane.
Don't really know why I'm blogging, but I did say that I'd write out what we did and pass it to you, that I'll do. We had to keep 2 journals there - for OPC and for the school. I didn't really notice the days flying by like that. The sun setting at 9pm and us huddling in the lounge listening to the evening presentation and some dozing off despite thier/our best efforts.
Well. Now the list of stuff to do is longer. For starters,
1. Unpack for good
2. Get all the class birthday presents I have yet to get
3. The homework - IH SIA, Math...
...
There's CCA to go for, French and Tennis.
I really need to study for the French exam. I can't speak it properly.
7:50 AM
Fell for a shooting star
Monday, November 06, 2006
It's no surprise that they break you down
Least they won't give you up
I believed that nonchalence would always be a part of me, it is so much my hallmark, this indifference, which in truth, simply allows me to eschew unnecessary constraints. This simple idea that nothing is important and everything is possible.
11:14 PM
Fell for a shooting star
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